


The Reason

by EowinSymbelmine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarry, Hoobastank - Freeform, M/M, Slash, Songfic, This fic is old as Moses, all the feels, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9413984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EowinSymbelmine/pseuds/EowinSymbelmine
Summary: Just a fluff Draco/Harry songfic with Hoobastank hit





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Reason](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/258194) by Eowin Symbelmine. 



> DISCLAIMER: "Harry Potter", its characters and Universe don't belong to me, but to the Queen of the Universe, Mistress J.K. Rowling.
> 
> ALSO: please, be kind about any grammar/ortography issues, and point them out to me on the comments. English in not my first language AT ALL.

_"I'm not a perfect person_  
_There're many things I wish I didn't do_  
_But I continue learning_  
_I never meant to do those things to you_  
_And so I have to say before I go_  
_That I just want you to know_  
_I've found a reason for me_  
_To change who I used to be_  
_A reason to start over new_  
_And the reason is you "_  


 

He looks so beautiful when he's asleep. He looks like a kid again, the hair falling gently over his closed eyes, hiding the fascinating glow of his green irises. So beautiful, and so.. pure, he is. So different from me, with my past so full of macules...

Sometimes, when I remember how cruel I was to him for almost six years, I feel like I don't deserve this love. I played dirty with Harry for five years. I know I wasn't his favourite person bak then, either,. But he always had an intrinsic ingenuity that softened the litlle misdeeds he managed to pull over me. He never really had this streak of cruelty, of maliciousness that was always part of my nature. My Harry... so good, and sometimes so silly!

I think that, deep down, I never wanted to really antagonize my "Boy-Who-Lived". I felt kind of a childish pleasure over the petty evil things (and also over the major, serious ones), but at night, alone at my private dorm room on the Slytherin dungeon, I felt dirty, and sad. And when I finally acknowledged my feelings for him, I feared that it was too late; I feared that the hatred over the name "Malfoy" was already too deep on my beloced's soul. I feared that he hated me, and above all, I feared that he was disgusted by me.

Dumbledore was a huge support back then. He opened Harry's eyes to the change that I was going through ever since my father was arrested and I was released from his influence. The only thing that Dumbledore could never do for me was to reveal to Harry the only reason I had to start a new life from the scratch, change everything I thought I was: him, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived.

It was so hard to open my heart to him, and hear what I knew I deserved to hear - that for the best part of five years I made his life pure hell; so how on Earth did I expected him to forgive me and, all of a sudden, started to love me? The only thing that gave me hope was that, not a single time, did he said he hated me, or even that he could never love me. I tink that the seeds of his feelings was already there, long before I declared myself. It was just hard to him to accept and admit. 

But I managed to gain his trust little by little, by keeping a low proflie, acting from the shadows. I was able to conquer Granger and Weasley's friendship, after much grovelling, and only after that was I able to really get close to my Harry. But after that, it all happened so fast...

Voldemort's death. The time Harry spent in St. Mungus. The final battle against the last Death Eaters... against my own Father. The battle where I killed the one who brought me into this world to save the one that gives me reason to stay in it.

So many memories... Too many for this time of the night. I'd better just cuddle him and get to sleep. It feels nice to fall asleep next to his slender, warm body, with my face buried on his forever-messy black hair, inhaling its soothin scent... My Harry, it's so good to be here with you...

 

_"I'm sorry that I hurt you_  
_It's something I must live with everyday_  
_And all the pain I put you through_  
_I wish that I could take it all away_  
_And be the one who catches all your tears_  
_That's why I need you to hear_  
_I've found a reason for me_  
_To change who I used to be_  
_A reason to start over new_  
_And the reason is you"_

 

I love waking up like this, with him cuddling me from behind, so possessive, his face buried in my hair, black and silver strands mixing, intertwining. His beth is warm and regular. I turn around to look at him. Not even when he's asleep, he loses his air of ironic self-confidence. I can't denie that I love my Dray's sarcastic and kind of narcisistic ways. I love the sparkle of mirth in his gray eyes, the way he teases me with only a wink. Oh, Draco, how much time did we lose...

So many times I hurt you, thinking that I hated you, when in reality I didn't understood you, and I envied your self-sufficiency. All the times I made you suffer with hurtful words, and saw the pain glistening on the gray depths of your eyes, hiding behind a veil of sarcasm and a false air of superiority. I thought I was so much better, so much kinder and magnanimous. "Saint Potter", it's how he used to call me at School, spitting the words. Everybody thought I was so much better than him... But he was always the better man. He was strong, independent, sometimes cruel, but he knew exactly the sore point of one's ego, striking without mercy. A dragon, indeed, scarily powerful; Lucius chose well his son's name...

Lucius... it's a sore subject. The vision of my Draco killing his own father, with a hardened, pained look in his tearful eyes still haunts me at night. How can I repay such a grand gesture of love? To kill his own progenitor, the man he used to hold in such high regard, a strong role model for most of his life, kto kill him just to save my life... I'm still trying to figure out a way to return this ultimate gesture of love, each and every day.

And that's why everytime I wake up in the middle of the night, facing my beloved's pale features, the blond fringe falling over his closed eyes, I thank Merlin for putting him on my path, and even for our early hostilities - a source of strenght in many difficult moments before we came together -, that later revealed themselves as just a disguise of our mutual admiration... then of our mutual care and, at last, our love.

But it's late. All I want to do is hold him tight, and fall asleep with my face buried on his broad chest, his narrow chin hid among my hair, as we do every single night. To lie down with the clean scent of his skin under my nose, caressing his back, until sleep claims me again.

 

_"I'm not a perfect person_  
_I never meant to do those things to you_  
_And so I have to say before I go_  
_That I just want you to know_  
_I've found a reason for me_  
_To change who I used to be_  
_A reason to start over new_  
_And the reason is you"_

 

When the first rays of sunshine filtered into the room, Harry and Draco woke up almos at the same time, clinging and facing each other. Draco smiled when he saw Harry's sleepy eyes, blinking owlishly, trying to focus. The blonde reached to the bedside table and took his lover's glasses, passing them over. Harry put them on and the world became clear, in the foreground that face he adored so much. And both had only one thought in mind whent they looked onto each other's eyes before exchanging their first kiss of the day: "I found my reason to be."

 

_"I've found a reason to show_  
_A side of me you didn't know_  
_A reason for all that I do_  
_And the reason is you"_

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet was first published (in portuguese) on my profile on Fanfiction.net on February 16th, 2005.
> 
> It was my first attempt at Harry Potter fanfcition, and my first attempt at a slash pairing. Drarry was my first OTP, and I still believe in it <3


End file.
